"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception.
I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "no."
Woody Allen
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Redd Foxx
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
Socrates
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Winston Churchill
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Some fun definitions:
Dating: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. For women: trying to find a rich prince, to marry, and have children. For men: trying to have sex.
Exercise: For women: to walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. For men: desperate physical exertion to increase the chances for sex.
Kissing: a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. Works the opposite way between teenagers and parents.
Love: 1) Temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce. 2) A feeling dogs can show by wagging their tail. If lucky, a human will feed them in return. 3) Friendship set on fire Jeremy Taylor 4) The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Mark Twain
Men: 1) the male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers. Ambrose Bierce 2) a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained by women to do most things.
Jilly Cooper
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